Who am I anymore?

I have not written in awhile. It isn’t because I was at a loss to write, or even that I didn’t want to write. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I have been battling hypothyroidism for the past 7 years, with only 5 of those years with an official diagnosis. I am on the losing side of the battle presently.

I went to my general practitioner a few months back for anxiety and depression. After trying three medications, my doctor recommended blood work to see if there was another reason for my moods. The results surprised me. I honestly expected it to all be normal and just me being chemically unbalanced and trying another medication.

My thyroid levels are off. After being on meds for 5 years and the same dosage working for all those years, it is no longer working. It seems that a lot of my ailments I’ve been dealing with are actually symptoms of hypothyroidism. My general practitioner became uncomfortable with the whole situation, and referred me to an endocrinologist an hour away. I hope this endocrinologist is able to help get me leveled back out. My appointment was scheduled in March for July 29.

I’ve heard great things about her and one of my friends was even surprised I got in to see her. My hopes are high for this appointment. I have been experiencing EVERY single symptom listed online. I am in complete misery. I am tired of feeling like someone looking in on my life, rather than someone living my life. I have lost myself to this disease and I want to get that back.

Who am I anymore? I really don’t know.


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