‘Merica

I work in a grocery store deli. This job makes me feel demeaned and empty inside day after day, and there are many things that make the feeling worse. Difficult customers being the most common reason for the worsening feeling of doom, despair, and general disdain for said job that pays in what feels like peanuts on pay day.

We have recently had an increase in people from other cultures coming through daily, which I have no problem with. I have no problem with people from other races, cultures, ethnicities, economical backgrounds, and other walks of life. I also have no problem with people immigrating to America as long as they do so through the proper channels and live and abide by the same laws that I do as an American citizen.

The problem I have is their refusal to even make a meager attempt at utilizing the English language. I understand that the United States of America has no official language. I get that. However, the most commonly used language in America is English. I wouldn’t go to France and get all pissy and self righteous because people didn’t understand me speaking English. I would plan before going and at least make an attempt. These people do not. Not even a little.

There is a group of Haitians that have begun frequenting the deli counter daily. They walk up, and demand things, but not in English. When you apologize for not understanding said demand, they become rude, make wild hand gestures, and point to what they want. Do not get mad at me for not understanding your language, when my native language is English and everyone around me is speaking English. If change is a problem, maybe you should leave.

A few nights ago, an Asian couple walk up to the counter, yelling at each other in their native tongue. They ignore my attempts to help them at first. Finally, the woman shouts something at me, again not in English. I had no idea what she wanted or needed. I tried many times to figure it out, and even tried to see if maybe she could point out the items she was interested in and we could go from there. NO! I was ignored and was basically as useful as the wallpaper for 20 minutes.  Her significant other returns from grabbing something and they begin shouting at each other again. He turns to me, shakes my hand, and tells me there is nothing that I can help them with.

They wasted 20 minutes of time I could have spent helping someone who actually needed something. They were rude, and I felt very demeaned. I am bilingual. I speak English and Spanish. Just because I don’t speak your native tongue and have no idea what you are shouting at me does not make me less of a person. I was born in America and my native tongue is English.

I am over the sense of entitlement so many have when they come to this country. Get over yourself and learn some common decency, respect, and speak the damn language!

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Light at the end of the tunnel

I hate my job. It’s not one specific thing really. It’s everything!

The people make me avoid social situations, the customers make me want to throat punch someone, the managers treat me like I’m 5 and know nothing about anything. The tasks are mundane and it all makes me left wondering if there is something more to life, or is this it for me?

I was feeling antsy about it maybe 6 months in? That’s a bit quick if you ask me. Then, one day, something changed my life. As weird as it may sound, that was Grey’s Anatomy. It made me wonder what if I possibly went back to school, and made my way back into the medical field. Could I? Would I?

Yes I could, and yes I would! Not only would this better my life, my financial situation, and make me happier, this will show my children that no matter what, it’s never too late to change something you are unhappy with.

Last night, I broke down and admitted to my husband that while I’m excited about going back to school in a few weeks, I am nervous and scared of failing. I cried, I rationalized, I talked, and it all comes down to the fact that I never thought I’d be going back to college, ever. But even more so at age 28 after almost 7 years of marriage and three kids.

Fortunately, I have an insanely supportive husband who is there for me every step of the way on this crazy journey.

I said all of that, to say this. I woke up this morning, and didn’t feel so heavy I couldn’t get out of bed. I got up, cleaned my kitchen, made my kids do something besides  being glued to TV and tablets, had a dance party in my shower (ode to Meredith and Christina who would be proud), and feel positive about going into work tonight.

All because, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Tidbits

So, I took a hiatus, unintentionally. My work schedule, Netflix and Kindle binges, and depression over my rapid deteriorating thyroid have allowed me to let so many things go by the wayside. Appearance, cleaning my house, blogging, etc. I thought I’d start back up with a refreshing list of facts not many people know about me.

1. I hate people. Every job I have ever had has been in customer service and dealing with the public. I am wonderful at it, and have awesome people skills. I just don’t like them. I am, however, great at hiding my disdain for the general public. If there were thought police, I’d be imprisoned for life, if not executed.

2. Southern accents make my ears hurt. Being from the South, this is a problem. The Southern drawl just does not have a place in intelligent conversations to me. It makes people sound ignorant, in my brutally honest opinion.

3. I am addicted to my rebate apps. I am constantly trying to find new ways to earn gift cards with points, get money back on my grocery and other shopping, and fill out survey for extra money. It’s paid off quite often this year.

4. I hate the heat and humidity of the South, but my husband and I are desperate to move to Florida after I finish my RN degree. Seems ludicrous but we love the area we found.

5. Going back to school in a few weeks makes me feel hella old. I know I am by far not even close to the oldest person to be going back to school, but seeing all those fresh faces when I was on campus registering and whatnot made me feel ancient. I don’t know if my kids are aging me quickly or what, but I feel well beyond my 28 years.

6. We have 7 pets, unintentionally. We got one dog, one cat, another dog, another cat. We thought both cats were female, and BAM, a litter of three kittens is born in my living room closet. We immediately said the kittens had to go  as soon as they were of age, but then the prospect seemed cruel. To take her only children away. Alas, we have 7 pets and 3 kids. Essentially, I have 10 kids.

7. I am socially awkward. If given a choice between socialization, and being alone with a book and Netflix, I’ll pick alone EVERY time.

8. I lose my purse, phone, keys, debit card, etc. DAILY. If my head weren’t attached, I’d be searching for it too.

9. The TV show The Middle, is an accurate depiction of my family. Enough said.

10. I am terrified that I won’t hack it in nursing school  because it is my dream job, even though I never knew it was.

11. I am offended be eternally offended people being offended by shit that should never be found offensive.

*Those are just a few things about me not many know. If you are offended, oh well. You probably walk through life being offended.