I work out!

I’ve  officially been seriously in the gym for a week now. In the beginning, I was sluggish and my motivation was waning. I wanted to work out because I wanted to lose weight and claim my body back from birthing three children and hypothyroidism. The first few days of following IIFYM were very sketchy, at best. I begrudgingly dragged my ass to the gym, with the help of my four year old daughter who likes to go play with the kids in the child watch. Sad huh? 

Last night, I stepped on the scale wearily. I hate stepping on the scale, especially since I’ve also started lifting heavily to transform my body. It’s discouraging. I discovered that I was down 3 pounds since the previous Thursday. It made me realize that despite the struggle, it is working! My hard work is not in vain. I can’t see body changes yet, but I feel more energy, my body feels different. Good different. 

A few days ago at work, I was able to move and lift things I wasn’t able to move or lift before. I’m getting stronger!   I’m only doing a beginners lifting program to get my body acclimated to lifting, but it’s working! I can only imagine what’s going to happen from here. On a bright note, I ran out of thyroid medication and really didn’t want to fill it again since it’s the wrong dosage. So, I’ve lost 3 pounds without help from my mess. WIN! 

I keep telling myself it’s all about baby steps and taking it one day at a time. One meal at a time. One workout at a time. I am becoming a gym fanatic and I love it! Im feeling more comfortable in my own skin already.

Goodbye insecure fattie! Hello confident, fit mom!

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200 lbs of yuck 

  
This my friends is what I call 200 lbs of yuck. I have been battling hypothyroidism for about 5 years now and it has all come to a head. I hate the way the extra weight makes me look, feel, I hate the way I look and feel in my clothing. Clothes shopping is enough to send me into an anxiety ridden and depressed about everything frenzy of tears.

Recently, after an appointment with my family physician, it was determined that my thyroid levels aren’t responding to my current dosage of thyroid medication anymore and they would feel more comfortable referring me to an endocrinologist rather than fiddle with the dosages themselves. Once I finally finished playing phone tag with the one employee that is allowed to schedule appointments, my appointment was scheduled. FOR JULY 29! So now I’m waiting for that. Meanwhile, I’m taking a dosage of medication daily that is essentially doing me no good. By the time my appointment gets here, I’ll have been doing that for 5 months.

Yesterday, I decided I was tired of being miserable, fat, and uncomfortable in my own body. So, I threw myself into researching the IIFYM lifestyle change. I was overwhelmed. Luckily, I have a very good friend that has been doing it for awhile and has it down to a science. She has been a huge help. I started eating this way today and it’s been simple really. The My Fitness Pal app makes it easier than I ever imagined it could be.

My problem with my attempts in the past was I was depriving myself of things I desperately wanted. I would tell myself no for a week or two, and then binge and destroy my efforts when I finally gave in. I think that the IIFYM fits my lifestyle and will work for me because I can make it fit me.

I also started a beginners lifting program. I am no longer afraid to look bulky or gross because of muscle mass. I see a few women in my gym who weight lifting has transformed into rocking bodies.  I want that. I want a hard, fit body that I’ve worked my ass off for.

Usually, I feel stupid about weightlifting, but today, with my workout plan, I felt empowered. I felt like I knew what I was doing. I love this feeling of being fit. It’s a journey and will be long, but I am excited to see where this journey takes me.